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Posts Tagged ‘porthus waddle’

The Final Words of Porthus Waddle

09 Apr

Last session the party had just entered the asylum, where they believed the wizard they’d been looking for was to be found.

It started off fine. The adventurers, leaving Sister Jag outside on guard [player was absent], walked boldly into the asylum and started to explore. In quick succession they discovered empty storerooms, cells, and slaughtered several inmates who were probably not as hostile as first appeared. This did, however, attract the intention of some orderlies, who were intimidated by Ratco, and they escorted the party to the basement, where the wizard (Grove, or Clove, hard to tell), was.

The basement had several corridors of cells and more inmates; a torture chamber with a Derro and some henchmen (easily vanquished), and, finally, a study where the wizard was. He told them that he and his fellow Keepers (who were dead, mostly at the party’s hands) had summoned and ‘bonded’ with a spawn of evil from the sixth dimension. He could also make it manifest, allowing us to kill it. In exchange, he’d come back to the Duke with them and be the Duke’s court wizard.

The party agreed, and the wizard summoned the beast: a tentacled monstrosity that proved much harder than the party had been expecting. Immune to most of Porthus’ spells, non-magical weapons barely scratching it, and with powerful tentacles that grabbed opponents and squeezed their life from them, the beast proved more than a match.

Asbo, thinking that the wizard– if dead– would make the beast weaker, killed the wizard with a well-aimed bolt. Porthus tried and ultimately failed to damage the creature with any of his spells, and decided to try and use his wand on it, in close-combat. Foolish. He was promptly grabbed and eventually crushed, his dead body thrown to the floor. Asbo, deciding running away was the best option, dragged the chef’s corpse out with him, and escaped.

The other two weren’t so lucky. Wulfric went down first, swatted to the ground by a tentacle. Then Ratco, who had been doing the most damage, had been grabbed, escaped and grabbed again, was also crushed, and died a valiant death.

Thus the cleric, Sister Jag, and the thief, Asbo, escaped and went their own ways.

Thus the adventure, and the campaign, came to an end.

It is told, in taverns across the land, that there is a new restaurant in the Barony, which two halflings run; one deals with all the day-to-day business, the other cooks.


That’s another campaign finished. Been through a lot in the past few months. Next time we meet up we’re trying out a one-shot Pathfinder game, using high-level characters (level 17) just to see what it’s like. Then, another campaign I guess; although who is running it and with what system is currently unknown.

 
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Porthus Waddle: another letter

20 Mar

Dear Uncle,

I seem to have found myself with some time to spare, so have penned this letter and arranged for its delivery. We’re off adventuring, myself and my friends, looking for a wizard to take back to the Duke… although why we are looking for this wizard, I just don’t know. He seems to be part of some strange cult, dabbling in necromancy and other vile acts. Not like myself, whose culinary skills have tempered my arcane powers. Hmm, not sure what I mean by that, maybe that my spells are proving good and useful.

Anyway. Myself and Ratty were holed up in a basement, dining on a fine stew that I prepared, whilst Wulfy and Asbo are off looking for a cleric or druid to bring poor Sister Jag back from the dead… again. They were gone a good while, a whole day in fact, but came back with Sister Jag (now a half-orc), and tales of spiders and ettercaps. Seems they had a fun time of it. Reunited we waited until night and headed to the temple, where were we told another wizard, Hive, was based. He is part of this cult, and might know where our wizard is (his name? Clove, I think. Makes me think of food and I get distracted). The temple is no longer a place of worship, and is avoided by the townsfolk.

While, Asbo proved useful, and picked the lock of the front door and we sneaked in. It was a dusty, ill-kept place, with alchemy equipment on the altar and the statues of religious icons covered. We found a trapdoor leading down to a semi-natural cavern, and were pretty much attacked straight away by none other than Hive himself!

The fight was fairly quick; partly due to my flurry of magic missiles and a fireball. I’m getting good at lobbing spells at people; but my cooking skills are still superior. Hive is badly wounded, near death, and when we interrogate him we learn little; then something pours out of his mouth and dissipates into the air; seems the poor fellow was possessed by evil… or something. He mumbled something about a garden, so we followed a tunnel and came into a water-logged cavern with violet fungus trees sitting on islands. The tunnel sloped steeply down, and everyone slipped down it, except Asbo who came carefully, and myself, who rolled to my feet with a flourish. I was quite proud of that.

Obviously, the fungus attacked us. And each time they did, we got some rot. I ended up feeling pretty bad, but we killed the trees; I took one out, Wulfy took two out (I helped with lightning bolts, and magic missiles, and cast a fly spell on the dwarf), and Asbo took out another. Meanwhile, Jag found a nice sword, which might come in useful later.

We headed back out, and Jag used some of her magic to heal our wounds. We camped out in the basement to recover. Next day, we headed to the asylum, where we believed Clove was (why did we no go there straight away? No idea). We found the building and decided to make our way in by the side door: and for some reason Wulfy decided to smash the door down; we entered, and three orderlies with cages on their heads attacked us! We had to kill them, sadly, but I had to use up a few more of my powerful toppling magic missiles.

So, the others are going in to find Clove. I might wait outside and guard our backs.

Well, that’s all for now dear Uncle. Hope to write more soon.

Your nephew,

Porthus Waddle, Chef.

 
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A Sad Day for Sister Jag

29 Feb

Further adventures of Porthus Waddle.

Porthus Waddle

Dear Uncle,

When you used to tell us stories of your adventures beyond the Five Shires, we always thought you were exaggerating; now I know better. We are in some small, odd, town with a network of tunnels underneath the ground, which none of the locals seems to know about. We somehow got ourselves involved in investigating some trouble, and ended up descending a stairwell in a crypt, which came out into a natural cavern lit by purple fungi. Barred tunnels led off, and an altar made from an old tree stood in the middle; on top was a dead man, clutching a tome of horrors (some Pnakotic Manuscript, whatever that is)… and also a ghoul that leapt out of its hiding place, paralysing Sister Jag! We finished it off; well, I did actually. My spells are pretty neat now, and my cooking have improved immensely. A combination of a fireball and flurry of magical missiles sent the ghoul to its death. We then broke through into one of tunnels, o find some treasure guarded by a strange monster that looked like a giant cloak. We killed that too; well, the others beat it up, and it too fell to my missiles. I’m getting quite good at this!

We take the body we found up and out, and learn from the guards that he was part of some gang. We learnt where the others were and went looking for the one who ran the local brick-making factory. Turns out his workforce were all zombies, and he was an evil necromancer… and in the battle against him, poor Sister Jag was crushed to a pulp by magical black tentacles! I was nearly gone myself, but I managed to kill the wizard (well, I got the last shot in, with a Scorching Ray, which is no mean feat when grappled by tentacles), and recovered our friend’s body.

Now we have a decision to make. We could cart Sister Jag’s remains back to Glantri to be raised, or reincarnated (again)… or stay put and finish what we started, namely looking for the wizard we need to take back to the Duke. We’re counting our gold now, to see if we have enough.

Hope you and the family are well. Give my love to the bunnies.

Your (still alive) nephew,

Porthus

 
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Letter to Mum (from Porthus Waddle)

22 Feb

From the continuing adventures of Porthus Waddle, halfling chef extraordinary.

To my dearest mother,

Sorry for not being in touch recently, but the life of an adventuring chef is far busier than I thought it would ever be; oh, and we were also imprisoned and put on trail for murder, mayhem and attempted theft. We were not guilty (mostly; the ‘murders’ were in self-defence, the theft never happened, and the mayhem was unfortunate). We were, however, exiled from Grimheilm and sent on our way: this was a good thing! Our reason for being out this far was only to secure a new court wizard for the Duke, and this had only been a diversion.

Glantri is an amazing place, although full of bureaucrats and pompous wizards. Reminded me too much of that wizard school you sent me to. Had to use my cunning to get into the library, so I can study. The food was lovely though. We stayed at this posh inn/restaurant (called The Watch Tower), and you could see out over the city and the canals from my room. Very swish.

Then we left, having outstayed our welcome (long story, involving our cleric, Sister Jag, and the soldier Ratty, a gondola and a magically enchanted skull), we headed to a town where Asbo (that’s our party thief; still trying to fatten him up and make him see that thievery isn’t good; he doesn’t listen, alls me chubby, and he too reminds me of being at that wizard’s school) said he’d found a wizard we could take back to the Duke.

The town was in a bit of a turmoil, due to some murders (nothing to do with us). We convinced the guards to let us investigate (we were bored), and found strange holes in the ground where something (tentacles?) had burned through the ground. We found a crypt below a ruined house too, and sadly had to kill a couple of weird dwarves who attacked us. We let the others go.

Well, that’s all for now. We off down the stairs deeper into the earth. I’ve given this to one of the guards to post it. Hope it reaches you safely.

Your loving son,

Porthus

p.s. I enclose my latest recipe: charred wolf steaks and roasted spuds.

 
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How to Derail a Campaign

29 Jan

Today we broke the game. Started off the session in the rope trick, after narrowly avoiding a TPK, and planned on scouting out the palace-fortress to find the princess who’d gone barmy. Sent Asbo out scouting and while he play-acted and disguised himself as a child, he discovered a room where some possible magical weapons were held. As he returned, we piled out of the extra-dimensional space, intimidated a couple of guards, tied them up, and went in search of the weapons: only to get gassed by a trap, outnumbered by guards and arrested.

Then we ended up back in a cell, just like when we started the campaign, and we tried to break out, and that was when we broke the game.

We play downstairs in a pub in central London, and sometimes they hire the place out and today we had to exit early, and that didn’t help. Then one of our players decided he wasn’t feeling too good, and wanted to go… and then our DM was somewhat upset that we’d gone so far off the track that he wasn’t sure what the hell was going on anymore, and as a party our goals seem to have all vanished, so we spent some time discussing what to do. Since we play every two weeks, the DM has that long to sort out what happens next and steer the game back into the direction he wanted…

…back on the tracks of this railroad. Because that’s what it is turning out to be, and while we have had plenty of fun moments, it’s times like this when railroad plots fall apart. Which is a shame, as we were quite enjoying ourselves until we abandoned the plot.

This is why I prefer to run sandbox games, and generally prefer to play in them. My own Monday night game has been going surprisingly well, and the week between sessions allows me to do whatever prep work is needed. It’d be harder, I think, if it was pre-planned or needed to go in a specific direction. And probably a bit dull, which is how the last Star Wars ended up being (also because the heroes were stupidly powerful towards the end).

Hopefully next session we see us back on track, or at least pointed in the right direction. We’ve largely enjoyed ourselves, and some of our characters are great fun to play (my chef wizard is), and would quite like to continue having fun. I’d hate to see the campaign fall apart like the last one did (that went on hold, partly due to DM burnout at the time).

In the meantime, I keep getting the urge to run another game. Too much going on in my brain, that’s my problem. Ah well. It’s late (well, 9.45, not really that late, but it’s been a long week), so goodnight, sleep tight and don’t let the dragons bite.

 
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